Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i believe in u and ur pee
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
