Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
