So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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