I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize