I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
