Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
