i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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