You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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