Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
