And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
sex in a hospital.. check
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
