There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
