Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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