she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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