next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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