Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
