if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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