ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
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The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
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It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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