And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Too much gin, very little bucket
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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