Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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