I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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