I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
