His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
