I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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