Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
