Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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