I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
