Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize