hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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