nut hugger
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
