We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
