Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
