Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
