she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
