i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
