I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?