Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
ok first of all what the fuck
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
