im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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