remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
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