I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
