walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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