Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
They have beer where we have blood.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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