I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Randomize
