if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
