I'm so fucking centered right now
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
