I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
