I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
