mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
