apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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