you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize