Say something about gay babies.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
