dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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