Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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