No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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