Plan B is the new Plan A
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
