This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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