ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
